Pioneering Community Around a Socially Taboo Subject – with Alli Kasirer

Alli Kasirer is the founder and CEO of Fertile Girl, a pioneering community and platform changing the conversation about fertility. After struggling with infertility and undergoing three IVF cycles, Allie researched the best foods to eat that would improve her fertility chances. Today, Allie is the mother of twin boys and has expanded her brand to become the go-to resource for  the millennial mom-to-be. Prior to founding Fertile Girl, Allie worked in financial services at J.P. Morgan and holds a bachelor’s degree in Applied Sciences from the University of Pennsylvania. 

A passion for fertility

While Alli was struggling to get pregnant, she held a stressful job at J. P. Morgan. As she focused on mothering herself and enriching the emotional side of fertility treatments, she developed a passion for fertility and wellness. Because she traveled a lot for her job, the almost-daily fertility appointments and the hormone treatments were difficult to maintain. She resorted to therapy to help her make the difficult decision about leaving her successful job behind and making a crazy career change. 

Resilience is the key

For anyone on the infertility rollercoaster of intense highs and mind-numbing lows, resilience is the key. Alli experienced many tough moments both on the personal side of infertility and the business side of trying to maintain her career. The most difficult moment for her was that first IVF round that didn’t work. For someone with a scientific background, receiving an “unexplained infertility” diagnosis was devastatingly unthinkable. “How can we fix it if we don’t even know what’s wrong?”

Taking control

Alli admits that her body wasn’t in great shape during the first two IVF cycles. By the third one, which ended up being successful, she had learned to take better care of herself and was able to do a natural cycle. She felt more in balance as she let herself recover and come off the hormone medications. Acupuncture, eating healthy, and de-stressing her life were key elements of her success. Alli realizes that western medicine is helpful in reproductive medicine, but the combination of taking the natural steps along with it is what helped her become a mother. 

Finding balance

A common buzzword we hear everywhere today is self-care. Alli realized that self-care was so important in her journey that she made time for it, even going so far as to schedule it in her calendar like any other appointment. This approach forced her to re-prioritize her life, which was made easier by her new entrepreneurial lifestyle. She says that there is no magic answer as to how to do it; you just have to figure out what works best for you and try to “mother” yourself in meaningful ways. 

The Fertile Girl community

Alli admits that Fertile Girl is still finding itself as a community. No one was sharing their stories or talking about topics like miscarriage and infertility on social media, and then Fertile Girl started openly sharing the journeys of different people. Trying to keep up with a product side of the business began sucking the energy and joy out of the content and community aspects that Alli was so passionate about. Alli’s near future plans are to launch a really robust resource for those trying to conceive.

A touchy subject

Even though infertility is still a stigmatized subject, people are becoming more open and talking more about it, especially in larger urban areas. Girls are ingrained at a young age that their bodies are designed to reproduce, so then they wonder what’s wrong with them and why they aren’t “normal” when infertility strikes. Fertile Girl’s goal is to reframe the conversation and normalize the journey. The harsh reality is that one of four pregnancies end in miscarriage and one of eight couples struggle with infertility.

Sharing the struggle

Infertility and pregnancy loss are extremely difficult to face alone. Alli finds that younger generations are more open to sharing their stories and social media is helping to de-stigmatize many of these issues. It helps all women when others can be vocal about these struggles, because women need an outlet to share, build community, and seek advice. 

How a husband fits in

The truth is that fertility issues occur as often in men as they do in women! Statistics show that infertility is a male factor about ⅓ of the time, a female factor about ⅓ of the time, and a combination of both about ⅓ of the time. If you’re honest, then you’ll admit that we are led to believe that women bear most of the responsibility for infertility, because of the huge tendency to downplay the male factor. Alli shares how her husband was there to give support during their struggle to conceive, and even though he felt the emotional stress, he was her biggest advocate through it all. He now helps with at least 50% of the care of their twin sons. Alli says an amazing partner makes all the difference, but keeping any relationship healthy takes energy and effort. 

What Alli is most proud of

Professionally speaking, Alli is proudest of the new website for Fertile Girl, and she’s excited to launch it soon and share it with the community. On the personal side, she is proud of their family and the victory over infertility. Being true to herself and her values through it all and being able to live an authentic life bring her joy, satisfaction, and peace. 

Highlights of the Episode:

  • 4:25 – The scariness of taking a sabbatical
  • 5:48 – Taking control of fertility
  • 8:12 – The biggest challenges in infertility
  • 13:02 – Advancements in IVF
  • 15:30 – How Alli took care of herself
  • 17:08 – Launching Fertile Girl when her twins were born
  • 19:18 – Balancing life and its challenges
  • 22:40 – The nutrition aspect of Fertile Girl
  • 26:28 – Why fertility is still a touchy subject
  • 29:33 – How different generations respond to infertility
  • 33:11 – Fertility issues with men
  • 34:50 – The role Alli’s husband played in their journey
  • 36:24 – What makes Alli most proud
  • 38:00 – Fem Five

Resources mentioned:

The Fem Five:

1. Favorite book for women?

  • Conceivability: What I Learned from Exploring the Frontiers of Fertility by Elizabeth Katkin
  • Making Babies: A Proven 3 Month Program for Maximum Fertility by Sami S. David and Jill Blakeway
  • It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF by Rebecca Fett
  • Inconceivable, 20th Anniversary Edition: A Woman’s Triumph over Despair and Statistics by Julia Indichova

2. Favorite self-care hack?

  • “Scheduling self-care in my calendar”

3. Best piece of advice and who gave it to you?

  • “Treat others as you want to be treated.”

4. Female thought leader of CEO you’re into right now?

5. One piece of advice you’d give your five years younger self?

  • “Chill out. Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.”

Last Time on The NextFem Podcast

Cultivating Heart in Your Employees to Transform Corporate Culture – with Claude Silver 

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