Using the Brain Science of Female Erotica to Empower Women – with Gina Gutierrez

It’s always empowering when a woman with a creative and entrepreneurial spirit takes a stereotypical male domain and levels the playing field. My guest today has done that by creating a safe space for erotic storytelling that is precisely what many women are looking for, and she’s here to tell us how she did it.

Gina Gutierrez is here to talk about sex, money, entrepreneurship, and the female mind; doesn’t that just about cover it all? When she meets you, Gina will probably ask, “How are you feeling?” As co-founder and CEO of Dipsea, Gina is an empathy-driven entrepreneur focused on helping women tap into their sexuality on their own terms with confidence and develop a more holistic sense of wellbeing through audio erotic storytelling. In this episode, Gina and I talk about the brain science behind how women experience pleasure and why female pleasure is complicated and why that’s not an excuse, how she and her co-founder, Faye, landed $ 5.5 million in seed funding after being told a female-focused erotic product wasn’t a venture-backable business, and how Dipsea is shattering stereotypes while building a brand that consumers can connect with, and investors love. 

The focus on female sexuality

Sexuality is connected to power, and in today’s world, women are taking back their influence in the workplace and in balancing their many roles. Woman are much less attended to in asking for and getting what they want in terms of their sexuality. Gina explains why women don’t know if they are too demanding when it comes to sexuality, and this is the narrative that needs to be changed. Women haven’t been given the options in the sexual realm that men have, but we need to unlock the door to empowerment in this area. Dipsea is a company that seeks to open this door with new products, more education, and female-focused erotic content. 

How the startup began

In typical fashion, Gina and Faye knew what they wanted to make, but they didn’t know how to do it. They relied on their intuition about what women wanted because they knew what they were looking for and couldn’t find. They knew they needed to make “the thing” to give women a taste of what they were looking to create. They knew they could make something real, of good quality, that women would want to access, so it all started with six stories shared on a website with 200 friends. The next day, to their surprise, the stories had been shared with 1200 unique visitors, and Dipsea was born.

Being an empathy-driven entrepreneur

Gina says that most admirable qualities of entrepreneurs are male-driven, but what makes an entrepreneur successful in a less loud way is building a team that feels safe and is built around encouraging communication, collaboration, support, and empowerment. The focus at Dipsea is on using the data from real listeners to give them what they want and care about. It requires empathy to do it successfully. Gina says having good content starts with your gut instinct and then relies on what people tell you they want.

Truths about sexuality

A lot of women are turned on by being desired, so Gina learned that verbal affirmation is a big deal for most women, as opposed to what men look for in erotica. The idea of being watched, pursued, or chased are ideas that spring from women’s core desires. One challenge in creating content is that people are different and have diverse sexual experiences, so Gina and Faye have learned that they need a wide variety of content to cater to those preferences. 

Being co-founders

Co-founding a business together is not an easy endeavor. Gina and Faye were friends first and then started Dipsea together. Gina explains how they balance each other out with their personalities and work styles. The timing was a key element because they were both at a time in life where they were looking for something different in their job experiences. Gina says that it helped that they were both naive in many ways about the reality of starting a business. They had research, strong ideas, and a market for their product, so “the yes was way bigger than any no.” Their rule to promote harmony was to “take turns with the crazy,” so at least one of them had their feet on the ground at all times.

When they say your idea isn’t backable

From a well-respected venture capitalist, they heard that their idea for female-focused erotic storytelling was not a backable business, but this was the moment in which their confidence about their idea for Dipsea would transcend anyone else’s opinion. They set out to prove the naysayers wrong. The investors they eventually found clearly cared about their mission and were proud to be involved. They found two lead investors with relevant backgrounds who knew that Gina and Faye were on to something that people wanted to use.

How to use Dipsea

The good news is that Dipsea features stories that can be listened to anywhere. Less explicit versions are perfect for the subway ride home after work, and some are better if you’re alone in your car or at home preparing for a date. Some are good to help you switch into lover mode with your partner, and some are ideal when you are alone. The curated content feature of Dipsea allows you to find something perfect for whatever your mood or situation.

How erotica for women is different

The truth is that men and women look for very different features in erotica. Research shows the great abyss between how men and women experience erotica. Visual stimuli and physicality connect more with men, while women look at the same thing differently because they want more of a setting, narrative, background, chemistry, and story. These are general trends that hold true, even though some women take a more male view, and some men react in more stereotypically female ways. Gina and Faye found that audio is the perfect opportunity to present what women want with erotic storytelling.

The feedback

Gina says the feedback they have received about Dipsea is overwhelming, with many people saying that Dipsea has revolutionized their sex lives. Listeners say they have new ideas and can use their sexuality in more open and creative ways, and suddenly that closed door is open. Randomly looking for erotica on the internet can be intimidating and scary, but Dipsea makes it safe and accessible. It can even help those who have been through sexual trauma to view sexuality as positive again. 

It all comes down to brain science

Brain science is a field that we are just beginning to understand, but the problem is that we don’t understand our brains and what goes on there. The more we can learn about the female brain and its connection to sexuality, the more fulfilled and empowered women will be. Even though female sexuality is complicated, that can’t be an excuse not to address it. Thanks to companies like Dipsea, we’re finding new and practical ways to think about sexuality.

Pitching to investors

Even though Gina and Faye are comfortable talking about erotica and sexuality, they know the subject requires care and delicacy because not everyone feels the same level of comfort. The topic calls for modulation in language, depending on the audience. When they pitch their idea to potential investors, it’s important for them to know and understand who they are talking to. Gina says the best approach is to take a pause and have empathy for the person in front of you.

Staying true to the mission

One of the biggest challenges for Gina and Faye is staying true to the female pleasure experience and being sensitive to investors while building a brand that consumers and investors love. Gina focuses on creating a balanced and complete experience for women, which may not always be what potential investors are thinking about. With different interests from different parties, the goal is to align the interests and make sure that Dipsea stays clear and focused on the user experience. 

Shattering stereotypes

Erotica for women is scattered and hard to find, but Dipsea curates the content to be safe and to cover the wide range of what women are looking for. The content is created to be beautiful and approachable, and the goal is to design and elevate something that could be a taboo subject and turn it into something people can be proud to use. 

Highlights of this episode:

  • 3:35 – How Gina came to focus on women’s sexuality
  • 5:12 – Why women need to be exposed to more options
  • 6:54 – Developing the great big idea
  • 9:05 – Being an empathy-driven entrepreneur
  • 11:00 – Psychological truths about sexuality
  • 13:12 – How Gina and Faye became co-founders together
  • 16:57 – Being told your business is not backable
  • 21:05 – How Dipsea should be used
  • 22:47 – Why sexuality and storytelling are the perfect combo for women
  • 28:40 – Voyeurism and dirty talk: What’s normal?
  • 29:33 – Feedback about Dipsea
  • 30:48 – Brain science and why it’s overlooked in female pleasure
  • 33:32 – Pitching female erotica to investors
  • 34:57 – Figuring out how to curate the pitch
  • 37:36 – Challenges in staying true
  • 40:10 – How Dipsea shatters stereotypes
  • 43:02 – How Gina talks about Dipsea with her family
  • 44:46 – Fem Five

Resources Mentioned:

The Fem Five:

1. Favorite book to recommend for women?

  • Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski

2. Favorite self – care hack?

  • “I concentrate on building good habits, like yoga every Sunday.”

3. Best piece of advice and who gave it to you?

  • “A therapist taught me the difference in wants vs. needs.”

4. Female CEO or thought leader you’re into right now?

5. One piece of advice you’d give your five years younger self?

  • “I don’t know if I have any real advice for my younger self, because I wouldn’t have listened. I’d probably say to live your life and learn as you go.”

Last Time on The NextFem Podcast

The Naked Truth About the Holy Grail of Living – with Leslie Morgan


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